So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
