one two three fourrrrnication!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
