Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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