Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
