Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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