last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
