Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We got so high we made milksteak
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
