I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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