I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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