we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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