I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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