my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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