honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
