Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
