Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
