That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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