I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
