You're so nebulous sometimes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
