Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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