Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
