I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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