Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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