He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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