So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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