I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
