We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
