:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
