True but thats because hes a fetus.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize