I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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