Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
