I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
