Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She said her name was "party"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
