I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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