you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
