I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
