By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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