Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
