then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She bit a glass in half.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
