return my video game
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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