and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize