For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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