You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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