Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
