I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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