Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize