My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
