he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He did a backflip because drugs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
