Say something about gay babies.
he thought i was a dude.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
