u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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