before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
