I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
