First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize