so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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