why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
