the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
