Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
