Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
