Whats the glycemic index on semen?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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