I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
