Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
